13 Assassins Review

I was able to catch a screening of Takashi Miike's newest epic at ActionFest this year.

FILM- In the dying age of war and warriors, the sadistic Lord Naritsugu, little brother of the Shogun, has been using his high political position to get away with sickeningly cruel acts. The film begins with a high ranking man of nobility committing harakiri in protest of Naritsugu's actions, which alerts Lord Doi, the head of his clan.

Lord Doi realizes what must be done when the Lord kills the son of an honored clan member, as well as raping his daughter in law. The clan retrieves the lone survivor of a town Naritsugu butchered (mainly using them for archery practice), her limbs and tongue cut off, and and give her paper and a brush to orally scrawl what happened. She writes only two words, "total massacre".

The clan begins a secret mission to assassinate Lord Naritsugu on his way to a different territory. Doi recruiters an aged samauri, ,Shinzaemon to head the attack and gather others. After bribing local villagers, Shinzaemon recruits 11 samurai assassins to help him kill the Lord and his personal guard caravan of about 70 people.

The Lord's head guard, Hanbei, an old rival of Shinzaemon, visits and warns him not to attack. Shinzaemon promises to meet him on the battle field. The plan goes into full swing, and after meeting up with a clumsy hunter in a snare trap en route, they finally have their 13 assassins.

The assassins fortify and boodytrap the town they chose as their battleground, and after severe objection by Hanbei, Naritsugs laughingly exclaims that if violence occurs along the way, it will be nothing but fun. The army approaches, and the 70 men they were expecting turns out to be over 200. The assassins decide to follow through with their plan, and spring their trap. With the Lord and his army ensnared, Shinzaemon holds up a scroll for his enemy to see-the writing of the dismembered peasant, TOTAL MASSACRE.

Takashi Miike is without a doubt one of the most prolific directors in history. He has worked in every genre, creating films that cause laughter, revulsion, and sometimes both at the same time (ala Visitor Q). While I've always been a huge fan, not all of his movies make an impression on me. Sukiyaki Western Django is a great example- entertaining, fun, bloody, but at the end of the day I know I'll never sit down and watch it again.

When I heard his newest film was playing at ActionFest in Asheville (hometown festival ftw), I immediately scooped my girlfriend up and rocketed over to the Carolina Cinemas to check out some utterly kick ass films. The ending night feature was 13 Assassins, and even if I wasn't impressed, who can pass up a Miike film on the big screen?

Now thee first association you're going to make is with Seven Samurai, and that's great, because it's probably the only film worthy of being played as a double feature with Akira Kurosawa's masterpiece. This is the film I've wanted to see for years. This is the first Miike film that transcend the boundary of being "enjoyable" and lands somewhere in the range of perfection and masterpiece.

The plot is simple, this repulsive jackass with a position of power has been killing and raping his way across Edo, and a counsel from a near-by clan decided to take him out in a secret hit. What makes it so perfect is not just the amazing characters of fights, but the choice of samurai as the assassins. The film takes place after The Great War when samurai are falling out of favor, and this mission is easily saving themselves as much as the civilians in the area.

The weapon of choice is the samurai, not the swords they use. They train to use sticks, rocks, fists, explosives, fire, arrows, booby traps- everything available for them to use, they do. It's not just an over the top sword fight like in Kill Bill, but a guerrilla battle between skilled warriors and a great army.

There's a conflict, internal and external, facing almost every character in the film. There's virtually no violence from the 15 minute mark until the last 45 minutes (which is one of the greatest fights in any Jidaigeki film), but you can feel this dread and excitement building. It's really an odd feeling.

Now on to the fight scene, which is the entire third act. The programmer introducing the film said something along the lines of "when you see the words "total massacre", just get ready". And the best thing is, even that wasn't enough of a hint as to how jawdroppingly awesome this fight is. I could sit here and describe it, but again describing an action scene is just a waste of time since it's such a visual experience.

What I will say about the battle is when the 13 assassins inevitably start to fall, you feel it. The assassins seem superhuman, and when you're reminded of their mortality (and believe me, not a single one has a quick death), seeing them thrash and try to fight while bleeding out is actually hard to watch. The final fight obviously has Shinzaemon facing off against the main baddies, but you really don't want a few of the "bad guys" to die- then again, you can't wait for some of them to die. I remember leaning over about three times and whispering to my girlfriend "I hope Mr. Almost-Shogun has the slowest death ever put on film".

Miike has finally made his masterpiece, and this is a movie that will be in the "classics" section of video stores in 50 years (praying they still exist that is). A perfect balance of violence, characterization, humor, cruelty, and tension. While I love Takashi Miike for his films like Visitor Q and Ichi the Killer, 13 Assassins is an incredible movie, and seeing it in a packed theater on it's regional premier is an experience not to be forgotten. 10/10